I have just returned from my annual jaunt to work at Garden Show Ireland in the Castle Grounds in Antrim. For weeks I have been praying for rain but I was fairly confident that, although the show was a month later than usual this year, it would rain at the show – it usually does. In fact, I am less anxious about doing the talks, the journey and all that is involved with working at the show than whether I will be able to get out of the exhibitors’ car park in the evening – one year I had to be towed out of the mud every evening. But the council have improved the site so that it drains far better. It is better for the show too. On Sunday morning I sat in the marquee waiting for the show to open and the heavens opened, puddles formed, waterfalls fell from the roof and I wondered how the day would go. But the site coped and by lunctime, by which time the sun emerged, people were picnickig on the grass. All three days were packed with happy people enjoying all the activities.

As always, the show provides a great day out. One of my favourite features is the scarecrow competition and this year the theme was ‘Rubbish’ scarecrows, made from recycled items and designed to encourage birds rather than scare them.

Of course, if you feed the birds, any local squirrels will muscle in and the show was no exception, with the rodents taking full advantage of the peanuts before the show opened. I don’t have squirrels here (they are a mile or so away) and I know they are pests but they are very entertaining. I sat at a bench and one ran up to me, hoping I had food (I assume). I apologised and said I had nothing for it and it promptly ran off.

Some of the scarecrows had ‘photo’ faces and I found this one rather unsettling for many reasons.

The show aims to attract a broad audience. I was delighted to see that (fairly local) Kilmurry Nursery were at the show, for the first time, expanding the choice of quality plants, and Finlay from Rare Plants Ireland.

What I was not so happy to see was the sale of bare root plants from the usual offender. I have posted about this stand many times, and they are not only present at this show.

The visitors to this show are not all experienced gardeners. One of the advantages of buying plants at a flower show is that you can buy from the grower and get good information on how to grow them. That is why I am always so upset about these people. It concerns mostly herbaceous plants. These can be planted as bare roots but only when they are dormant – between November and March here. Of course the Dutch are experienced plant ‘manipulators’ and can cold-store plants for later planting. That is why you can buy a bunch of lilies from your local garage all year round. I planted cold-stored strawberries in early May. It is possible. But you need to know what you are doing and how to look after the plants.

So, here we go with some of the dud plants you should have avoided.

At Number one

An easy winner. These pampas grass certainly won’t be affected by winter cold. These bare-root clumps were as dry as dust and as dead as dodos.

At Number two

Just behind these were oriental poppies. When do these bloom? Now. But these won’t. I am not sure what the ‘extra’ means. It usually means extra large but perhaps they were just ‘ex’ poppies. It doesn’t really matter that they were extra large if they were dried out and dead.

At Number three

I am just being repetitive now. Mirabilis is a plant I have written about many times. But once again they are being sold as Japanese wonderflowers despite the fact they come from South America and are in no way new. They are questionably hardy too.

At Number four

And another classic. Incarvillea sold as flowering ferns! Oh my. But just to add an extra twist to the nonsense, they are now being sold as mole repellents. Well if the vendors had bothered to do some research before packing their lorry with dead plants they would have discovered that there ARE NO moles in Ireland.

At Number six

I had not noticed this one before. The lovely Ismene (or hymenocallis – it is a bit confusing) is sometimes called spider lily. But it is NOT and never has been and even in a world of many taxonomic changes ever will be a vallota. Are these people just ridiculously ignorant or stupid or what? Perhaps they have chronic Boris syndrome – the incurable compulsion to lie (oh sorry, miss speak).

At Number seven

And then the alliums. You don’t plant alliums in June. Some of mine were planted a bit late last year and they were already starting to develop roots when I planted them and I felt guilty. It was November. They were on offer and posted and they didn’t like it at all. So how they would cope with being planted six months later I am not sure. Well actually I am.

There were more of course, hardy coloured arum lilies, dead phlox, dahlias and cannas.

Avoid at all costs. What I find so terrible about this is that they are not even cheap!

Caveat emptor

dutch bulbs, mirabilis